I am not quite sure when it started or really or what the deciding factor was, but over the last two years of my life I have noticed a change. I grew a backbone.
I wasn’t necessarily a pushover. I just didn’t like making waves or disturbing the peace. I never wanted to cause conflict or wreck anyone’s day, but without realizing it sometimes that really wrecked my day. Everyone’s needs came before my own, as I tried to understand everything from their point and tried to accommodate them.
Great in theory, until you realize that your needs and your point of view and the views of others aren’t always aligned. I would find myself getting very stressed out just to make sure that everyone else around me wasn’t.
Finally around two years ago something changed in me. I started valuing my own opinion and stances. Without realizing it I was taking a stand for what I valued and what I wanted out of life, my job, my friends and everything in between. And it felt great. I felt valued and my self-worth went through the roof.
All because I stood up for myself.
If I was too busy to take on that extra job without putting the rest of my work at risk, I said so. In all areas of my life I began to stand up for myself and others. I didn’t have to kick and scream. I just had to take a stand on what I actually believed. Often it was as simple as letting people know my thoughts.
Before I knew it people were coming to me for my opinion, which was completely new. I was adding value. This affected me in multiple ways, the most prominent one at work. The more you actually believe in what you say the more others will have trust in you. My sales went up because it changed the way I talked to people. I was more confident and gave my honest opinion, even if I wasn’t sure it was what the client wanted to hear. Turns out it was exactly what they wanted.
Taking this lead in life is what I think can set you aside from other people in your industry. When you believe in yourself, people will in turn believe in you too.